Incremental Affirmations

One of the biggest obstacles faced by people using affirmations is the conundrum of the big dream and the humble beginning.

You might say, “I have big dreams, but they are hard to believe right now. When I use an affirmation in support of those dreams my mind tells me my affirmation is impossible.”

That rejection of your big dream by your logical mind is called cognitive dissonance in psychological circles. Cognitive dissonance is your natural reaction when a thought or an idea does not match your perception of how the world operates.

You see this concept at play in the mother of an accused murderer. When that mother is interviewed she cannot reconcile her image of her baby boy with that of a murderer. Denial sets in and she rejects the accusation. Her mind searches for a more comfortable belief.

In your every day goal/dream setting, you face a similar challenge.

Let’s say you are a technical writer for a manufacturing company. In your spare time, you are working on the great American novel. “One day,” you dream, “I want to be land on the New York Times Bestseller List.”  You can use an affirmation like:

“I am a New York Times Bestseller List author.”

I would call this an aspirational affirmation for the writer in question. Aspirational affirmations are effective, if you can overcome the cognitive dissonance. They are about embodying your dream long before you arrive – “fake it until you make it’”

However, many, if not most, people get hung up right there. Your logical mind quite rightly reminds you that you are not a best-selling author and your thinking takes a negative turn instead of the positive turn the affirmation was intended to provide.

Many people find this hard to overcome. Nothing causes more people to try and quit with affirmations than cognitive dissonance. It is a real challenge.

You could use a future tense affirmation such as:

“I will be a New York Times Bestseller List author.”

However, this violates another basic tenet of affirmations – that they are most powerful when phrased in the present tense. Putting an affirmation in future tense steals the power from it. The key to changing your thinking is to affirm that something is happening right now.

This solution is what I call incremental affirmations.

Incremental affirmations are the affirmations you use in the early stages of your journey towards your big dream. They simultaneously place the affirmation in the present tense, while scaling it to believability. The focus is on the same goal and there is an ever-important impetus on action happening now.

Incremental affirmations are created by using words like “on my way” or “in the process of becoming”. These phrases imply that I am taking all the necessary steps and doing all the necessary work to reach for my dream, while acknowledging that I am not yet there.

So, our friend the technical writer with the small book and the big dreams can succeed with an affirmation like:

“I am on my way to becoming a New York Times Bestselling author.”

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams. He is author of the ebook The Power to Be You and the forthcoming The Power to Be You 2.

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If…By Rudyard Kipling – The Affirmation Spot for Friday November 14, 2008

Today’s Affirmation:

“Aging gracefully…I am aging gracefully. I am gladly trading youth for wisdom.” (click the affirmation to hear it in mp3)
 

Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936) was a British author and poet born in colonial Bombay, India – modern-day Mumbai. He was best known for his childrens’ books The Jungle Book  and Rikki-Tikki-Tavi. However, he was quite an accomplished poet. Some criticized him later in life as a proponent of British Imperialism. That said, his writing was accomplished and has been read by generations of children and adults alike.

 “If…” was written in 1910 and is every bit as motivational and true today as the day it was penned. It’s simply timeless. It is one of my absolute favorite poems. Parts of this poem have proliferated greeting cards for many years.

Absorb the message and you will be empowered.

If…

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

 

Stay inspired!

Ray

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